Two years ago… sep01


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Two years ago…

Two years ago my Mom died. It seems like last week and ages ago at the same time. Maybe because I did not live in the Netherlands back then. It is like a island of experiences and emotions. A neatly wrapped package. Not filled with pain, but largely with soft and sweet memories about the things that made me laugh, that made me proud and that used to make me angry.

The anger I might have felt towards her from time to time has evaporated over the past two years. Not that I look at everything that happened through a pair of fairy tale glasses, but even behavior that angered me in the past doesn’t have that power anymore.

And at large I had a happy childhood with enough parental love to sustain me, even though I was never close with my Mom. We definitely weren’t each other best friend. We didn’t go shopping together, or exchange phone calls daily or weekly or even monthly. I visited her the most frequent by the time her dementia has grown so bad we took turns looking after her in the weekends.

Sometimes it feels weird my Mom is not there anymore. A few weeks ago I drove past Utrecht on the freeway and passed the exit I used to take to go to the last placed she called home. She moved out of it five years ago.

My Mom taught me some valuable lessons and gave me best gift ever: my life. Thank you Mom, dankjewel mama. Farewell once again.